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January 19th, 2007

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December 21st, 2006

09:48 pm - Welcome, Hanna! Welcome to the world, Ms. Hanna Marie Elise Buchanan Breit! After 72 hours of early labour and 17 hours of active labour Hanna entered our world via c-section at 1:35 am on Monday, December 18th. She weighed 7 lbs, 3oz and is completely perfect in every way! Our little sagittarius is a sweet, serene little girl who has brought us the most intense and amazing joy. We love you, Hanna! Mama and Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxo Current Mood: jubilant

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December 12th, 2006

12:46 pm - Week 39 and 2 days: 5 days to go? Dear Baby, It is now 5 days until your due date. This seems unbelievable as I've been counting down on the white board behind my desk at work for a few months. The number "5" seems much more abstract than it should. Of course we don't know if you will be here in exactly 5 days, or more, or less. And the days have begun to blur together in a not-unpleasant way for several weeks now. I wish I could know ahead of time exactly when you'd be here. I keep asking our midwife annoying questions but she keeps telling me that if she knew when the baby would be here, she'd be rich (and presumably not a midwife). Your Mama and I have been slowing down a little and taking more time for ourselves. It has been wonderful that Mama has been at home the past few weeks because she is able to accomplish things in her own time. In the evenings we've had a few dates - gone out for dinner, gone to the movies, or just hung out at home watching Christmas specials on CBC (your smart Mama rigged the rabbit ears Uncle Todd and Auntie Eryn gave us so we could watch The Grinch last night - fun!) This past weekend we treated ourselves to a spa experience at the Utopia Spa Academy in Vancouver for much needed haircuts, a facial and pedicure. I'd like to do this again really soon, but perhaps having the spa come to us (as we did for our spa party in September) will be more our style for a little while! Our friends continue to be incredibly generous, and are constantly showering the three of us with gifts. Auntie K brought by the diaper bag she handmade with all the extra pockets for cell phones, pens, books and keys on Saturday, and it is amazing! She even filled it full of extra goodies for you: sleepers, receiving blankets, wash cloths, and dropped off a Jolly Jumper to boot! Bill and Audrey dropped by Sunday with a frozen homemade lasagne and two snuggly swaddle-me outfits for you. They are so soft and cute! Carla sent a beautiful crocheted blanket for you, which we plan to take to the hospital to wrap you up in to keep you warm. We are so lucky, Baby, to have such craftastic friends! This week I plan to take pictures of everything people have handmade for us. We have the best stuff (and friends) ever! Your Mommy has been busy again in the kitchen, obsessively making vegetable soups, stews and other hearty winter recipes. Somehow the stove stopped working in the middle of cooking some meatballs on Sunday, but luckily your Mama is looking after getting the stove fixed in the next couple of days so we can make more food. The nesting instinct seems to have gripped me pretty hard in particular at this time. All I feel like doing this afternoon is cleaning our place top to bottom and "smudging" every corner and doorway of the suite with burning sage. No better time to get rid of that old energy than the present, right Baby? Our families have been asking about what they can expect when you are on your way. Will we take a taxi to the hospital to avoid parking hassles? Will we call? *When* will we call? Uncle Kevin told me last night that he had imagined himself waiting in the waiting room of the hospital during the birth so he can hold you first. Your grandparents and uncles want to be called in the middle of the night if that is when the action begins. We're pretty glad about this because it will be wonderful to be able to share our own excitement in real time, even if it is late at night, as I have imagined it to all happen for some reason. We sent out an email to our *Babynews* mail list last night and we have had so many enthusiastic responses from those we've included... some old friends who didn't even know about you yet (sorry, Janet E. and Janet F.!) Everything seems to be building up to the big day, and it is hard to think of anything else or to wait even an hour longer to finally hold you. Luckily, it is your Mommy's last day of work on Friday. Finally, I can be at home with your Mama, awaiting your arrival together! Lots of love, little baby. I can't wait to see you soon, Mommy xoxoxo PS It's OK if you kick me in the back when we're snuggling up in bed once you're here, just like you do now in your Mama's belly. At least until you're bigger and can kick harder. Current Mood: jubilant Current Music: Christmas in Frisco - somafm

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December 4th, 2006

12:47 pm - Week 38 Dear Baby, It is now less than two weeks until your due date. Your Mama and I spent the weekend preparing for the upcoming holiday. We hope you could feel the joy as we baked Christmas goodies, made the wreath for our door, did some shopping and put up decorations. (By the way, we hope you weren't feeling ill after that sugar rush Saturday night when your Mama "tested" a few of those 7-layer bars for me -- you were pretty hyper for about an hour). Conversely, you were pretty quiet when we cheered you with a little wine on Friday night at the shower at Shaheen's place, hosted by my co-workers. I'm glad the curry and spicy prawns didn't put you over the edge, although if the old wives' tale was right and it had actually induced labour, I imagine you'd be in our arms right now. We wonder if you will be born on the Solstice, which would befit us well! Your Mama saw Lindsay on Friday, and it looks to her as though you won't be coming early. You are still slowly moving into the pelvis, and are about 1/5 of the way in now, apparently. Yesterday afternoon your Mama and I were hanging out with Grandma and Papa at their place in Chilliwack, and suddenly your Mama's belly looked so different. I wondered if you'd dropped more since I'd last noticed. It is amazing how your Mama's shape can change depending on your movements. We call you a "funny little baby" all the time because of the unseen goings on in her belly when you get restless, evident by the visible pokes and prods of arms and legs. We also call you our "sweet little baby", "little bean", "muffin" and "honeypie" (which gets a bit confusing sometimes as your Mama and I call each other honeypie. Sometimes your Mama doesn't know which one of you I am talking to). I had another dream about you last night. You were a little boy again, and as I was holding you I couldn't take my eyes off you. You were just as I had been imagining you with dark hair and brown eyes. You were the cutest baby I'd ever seen, of course. I just kept looking at you in disbelief as you looked back into my face. Yesterday afternoon we were talking about how surprised we will be if you don't look anything like we imagine. Are you going to be full of surprises, or is the "you" we think we already know the you you really are? We learned last week that our friends Leona and Clint from prenatal class have already had their baby! Little Sophie Popoff is the cutest thing ever! I keep opening her picture on my desktop at work so I can sneak peeks at her golden auburn swirls of hair and rosy cheeks and lips. It will be exciting for you to meet Sophie sometime in the new year if we have our class reunion. She looks just like both her parents. I wonder if you will look like the image I have of you, with features of your beautiful Mama as well... Speaking of your Mama, her last day of work was Wednesday - the fifth day of extreme (by our standards) weather which kept me at home Monday and allowed me to leave work early on Wednesday. This meant I had the chance to go over to the library to partake in the farewell tea your Mama's co-workers hosted for her. While your Mama finished up what she was doing and said goodbye to all her co-workers, I snacked on some of the goodies in the lunch room and made conversation with some of her friends I've known for a long time, too. Several people said they wanted to be on speed-dial so they'd know the moment you were born. There is also a baby pool on the go at the library! I hope it is as popular as the pool at my office, which has accumulated $60 so far! We are going to see Lindsay for your second-to-last scheduled appointment on Thursday. I was sad to miss your appointment last week - the only one I missed - due to rescheduling because of bad weather. I missed hearing your strong heartbeat and hearing all the details of where you're at these days. I can't believe that soon we will be doing the last of packing up a suitcase for the hospital and will be finally able to meet you. Until then, I'll keep daydreaming about your entry into our lives and all the celebrating we will do with our family and friends over the holiday season (even if that means doing not much more than sipping on a festive drink inbetween naps while we watch you do amazing things like open your eyes, make funny noises, and hold onto one of our fingers)... All my love, Baby. See you soon... Mommy xoxoxoxo Current Mood: excited

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November 26th, 2006

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October 16th, 2006

12:33 pm - Week 31: Meteor Showers A nice weekend was had by all at Buchananbreit HQ, spent mostly indoors, but with some venturing out in the autumn mistyness. Jeannie's Tante Angela is in town from Quebec City, and we had a nice dinner at Jeannie's mum's with her last night. We even saw Andrew briefly and when I saw him all decked out in a smart sillk shirt and dressy pants, I asked where he was going. "Rome," he said. I knew he was off to Europe but didn't expect the flight would be so formal. He also said he was planning a long confession at the Vatican, so maybe he decided to dress up early for that... maybe the Pope will be meeting him at the airport? Jeannie, her Mum, Tante A and I decided to get tickets for the Bodyworlds show at Science World this coming Saturday. We wanted to catch the show last fall in TO, but didn't get a chance to. Perhaps in the spirit of things (?), this will also be the weekend we've decided to work on, and hopefully finish, our wills - stopping only for Tante Angela and Sunday brunch with the skylarks. And a much-anticipated visit with Leah Friday night! On Saturday we rose early so Jeannie could get yet more bloodwork done, this time to test her iron. We also attended a free demo on how to install car seats, hosted by BCAA, which we were both very happy to have done. We ran into Don and Marilyn at the Bay cafeteria in the morning, and I'd just been thinking of giving them a call a day or two before. The rest of the weekend, Jeannie worked on a quiz for her online supervisory course and I enjoyed making soup and freeze-ables for the winter, and working on two skirts and an apron. We went for a walk yesterday afternoon in the woods behind our place in the rain...lovely... October is my very favourite month, and I couldn't think of anything more heavenly as we walked than a stroll in the crackling orange and yellow leaves on a misty day with my honeypie. ***** In other news, a couple of interesting "returns" this weekend. One was Jeannie's longtime childhood friend calling her after running into Matthew at salsa class several times in the past few weeks. The other was hearing from our former donor, who didn't seem to want anything to do with us following his sudden about-face right before Christmas last year. While the phonecall from Debbie was met with a warm and welcoming Jeannie and was what sounded to me like a delightful phonecall, the email from S was so unexpected, and was a bit weird and not really worth a response. ***** On my lunch today I tried to book the room at Coquitlam Rec I learned about a while back for our MTBP, and was told to call mid-October to book... but now the room has been booked for programming Jan through who-knows-when. Ah well. Now I'm looking at a room at Place Maillardville, which is a bit less expensive anyway, and hopefully as nice. It has a kitchen, and is available for the dates we were looking at. I hope we can take a look at it tonight after aquafit and yoga, and that it fits the bill. Yay! The baby now has fingernails that are as long as the ends of the fingers. Tristan/Hanna is plumping out now and is, apparently, less red and wrinkly. I've read that 9/10 babies born this week have a very good chance of survival. Less scientifically observed, the baby seems to know when we are talking about him/her now, as whenever we start to talk about baby things, a flurry of kicks, punches and nudges ensue. When this happens, it's like knowing a meteor shower is about to start. It's wonderful and amazing, and I'm always waiting with excitement for the next spark to fly... Current Mood: content Current Music: Sing Your Life - Morrissey

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October 11th, 2006

12:37 pm - Week 30: I Visit to Dance, I Enter to Love The subject line for this journal entry was a line I recently found scrawled in the notebook I brought to prenatal class a month ago. I had all but forgotten that Cohen-esque binary, which I awoke with on my tongue that weekend. I immediately attributed the verse to our poetic baby, who had clearly sent me this joyful message telepathically. ***** Last week Jeannie and I had our last monthly visit with Lindsay, our midwife. For the next month, our visits increase to once every two weeks, and then once a week. It is hard to believe we are now in the last 10 weeks (give or take) before the baby arrives. Jeannie is still perfectly on target with her fundal height, weight gain, and the baby's heartbeat seems to average between 150 and 160/minute. Lindsay was feeling Jeannie's belly for the baby's position and his/her heart rate began to accelerate. Apparently this is a good sign. Wouldn't your heart rate accelerate if someone was moving your little baby head about? The best part was seeing Jeannie's belly actually move as the baby kicked/punched at Lindsay's office. That was a first for me. And playing "footsie" or "handsie" with the little nobblies protruding and receding during the visit. Lindsay has started keeping a book of funny pregnancy stories, and asked me to write down my experience at the RCH hospital tour. I don't remember if I mentioned this before, but as we entered the birthing room, there were a limited number of chairs. Men and women alike kept offering me the last chair to sit down on, and I kept saying, "It's OK, I'm not pregnant. I'm not pregnant. Go ahead." By 20 minutes in to the tour - I, being the only woman in high-heel boots - was ready to sit down, but wouldn't give in after all the kuffuffle of resisting other people's polite offerings that I sit. ***** Lately our energy has been spent trying to figure out EI rules and regulations, our MSP, extended health and dental benefits. We're trying to maximize our benefits while minimizing our costs, and it took a sick day on Friday for me to get the energy up (after sleeping all day, and I mean ALL day) to pull out the books and make comparisons. To our shock and dismay, it appears that the library will only pay Jeannie six weeks of mat leave, topping up her EI benefits to 95% of her regular earnings. We were so surprised because SFU will reimburse employees the difference that EI doesn't pay for the length of maternity/parental leave. If there is a "medical reason" (ummm, the WHO's recommendation that women breastfeed for 2 years?) with "sufficient medical evidence", the library may pay another 11 weeks. (We tried not to let this bad news sink in too deeply, so as to interfere with our weekend. Afterall, it was Thanksgiving, and we are into gratitude in a big way.) In addition to some clarifications Jeannie needs to get from her HR/Benefits person, we also need to clarify some things with EI. I was on the phone five times yesterday trying to get through, then to get clear answers to my questions. My attempts to just make an appointment with someone at the local office were thwarted. My concern at this point is how soon I may be able to collect my full EI mat leave benefits if I get pregnant next year. If it appears I may be home with our first child longer than expected, *and* live my dream of having a baby a year after our first baby is born, my parental leave would roll into my mat leave. One person I spoke with at EI said there would be no financial disadvantage to doing that. When I got off the phone I thought about it more and wondered about the qualifying period, called back, and was advised to work at least 22 weeks in between babies to get my full EI benefits. There was a lot of fancy math involved, and I didn't quite follow. So I've decided it best to write a letter and get any answer from EI on this one in writing. ***** We celebrated Thanksgiving with a BBQ at Saturna Saturday night with Jeannie's mum and Matthew. The weather was beautiful, sun, rain and all, and the cabin was cozier than ever with the fireplace burning and each of us with our heads in books. Jeannie was finishing off an Ina May Gaskin, and I breezed through a Sheila Kitzinger and finished reading Annie Lamott's "Operating Instructions", a journal of her son's first year of life. I was very influenced by her writing style and began to journal using the same level of detail in my observations and anecdotes. I didn't get a chance to write of the double mouse suicide I discovered in the garbage can in the kitchen of the cabin, or how I felt like the writer of "Roughing it in the Bush" (who I thought was Catherine Parr Traill) as I dumped out the mice and hosed out the pail. Nor how as Matt, Jeannie and I drove by the tiny library, I'd asked Jeannie if she'd ever taken out a book from the island library, and she said she'd only ever taken out one: Roughing it in the Bush. Then a small disagreement about whether the author was Catherine Parr Traill or Susanna Moodie, her sister, ensued. (Jeannie was right, it was Susanna Moodie). ***** Lately I've been listening to Kate Bush's "Aerial: A Sky of Honey" on a daily basis, and am convinced it is the perfect CD for a baby to listen to often, especially when falling asleep. If anyone has other suggestions of good CDs for baby ears, please send them my way. I have good intentions of making a mixed CD for the baby's soft listening and more upbeat moods, but haven't gotten around to putting one together yet. ***** Jeannie's belly is so perfectly round and big, I have to stop when I pass her in the hallway to admire it and tell her how amazing a belly it is. She is glowing with more and more beauty every day, and we just can't wait to meet the little bean. In fact, after we read "Guess How Much I Love You" to little Tristan/Hanna at night, I gently encourage our baby to begin his or her entry into the world on December 14th. My last day of work is December 15th, and I'd much rather spend it in the hospital with Jeannie. xoxo Current Mood: happy Current Music: Aerial: A Sky of Honey - Kate Bush

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October 4th, 2006

12:09 pm - Week 29 - The Most Torrid Affair of your Life A few weeks ago I was remembering a time in my life that featured sleep deprivation, anxiety, bliss, uncertainty, and sweetness unfolding. Whenever I'm made a little uneasy by all the references to lack of sleep in the first year of our child's life (which are everywhere), I remember when Jeannie and I first got together. In the blurry limbo between friendship and the true realization of what we were, there were months of sleepness nights, yet we managed to continue to function like human beings. Sleep deprivation was counteracted by the feeling of constantly floating, in love, excitement and hope. I have already fallen head over heels for our little baby, and can't imagine how my world will explode once I can actually express all the love that has been welling up in me all these months when we finally meet. I imagine nothing else mattering, with my heart constantly racing and spurts of energy, followed by deep, unflinching (tho' perhaps short) winter sleeps. I daydream constantly about conversations we will have, things we will do together, weekend adventures and holidays, books, music and movies we'll share. I imagine our child at all ages and stages of life. I don't think I've ever anticipated anything to this degree in my life, though much is unspecific. How everything unfolds is so unpredictable, and part of my joy is in the spontaneity of our relationship... small gifts to fill the blank book with dates of happenings and wonderings... and all the things I wouldn't ever guess that our child will be. I have been reading books by Ariel Gore lately, and read one piece by a woman who said she became so overtired in early motherhood, she didn't have the enegy to bullshit anymore. If someone asked her a question, she was just honest because it took too much energy to not be. Blessed be! If there are days when Jeannie and I feel like walking zombies, tempers are short, and we feel we can't do things on our own, I hope that the cancellation of my bullshit will come on steadily as a benefit of motherhood. I'm also looking forward to the perspective this child will inevitably give to my life. I'm not the type to worry over the small stuff, but sometimes if I think I'm responsible for something going wrong, I blow it out of proportion and feel needless guilt and/or neurotically driven to make up for my perceived mistakes or failings. I'm looking forward to another gift of sleep deprivation, if go without sleep we must - to not have the energy to give a cracker about my neurotic tendencies. So in advance, baby, I thank you for all these gifts. If you keep me up at night, I'm so in love with you already I'll willingly throw myself over the edge and never come back. I'm looking forward to the mother you turn me into, to changing into the crazy mama I hope you are watching from some spiritual perspective and thinking, "That looks fun. I'm glad I'm on my way..." Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: Travis - 12 Memories

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September 19th, 2006

11:52 am - Week 27 - Generosity On the weekend of September 9/10 (which now seems like an eternity ago somehow) Jeannie and I participated in a prenatal course hosted by RN and midwife-positive birth educator, Sarah Alexandar. The course we attended was a lot of fun, and while the entire course was two full days, it was balanced in a way that didn't make us feel burnt out by the end of the weekend. My hats off to Sarah for her teaching style and use of interesting props (a knitted uterus and breast, for instance, and that amazing skeletal pelvis that fit a lifesize newborn doll through it, just like a real female pelvis, although it didn't seem possible... what a great design we ladies have...). I went through school (and classrooms as a teacher) hating group work because of the imbalance of dynamics that can happen when you throw people together and ask them to work as a team. But somehow during this course it worked very well, and I had the pleasure of participating in a group of 7 other "dads", brainstorming activities that needed to be done before the arrival of our babies and after. This enlightened group of young men I can only say I have enormous faith in as future dads and world citizens. It was awesome to be welcomed as one of the team, and at the same time respected as a woman among the men. There was some initial amusing and harmless gender nonsense that occurred when one of my peers asked if I was going to be the recorder of the group when I showed up with my notebook and pen in hand, unassumingly. I couldn't resist taking on the role by saying, "Sure, I'll be the secretary..." The group laughed and I took on the role on the condition that someone else would report back to the larger group. Smartypants did and the list of activities included items like: * doing more than the usual share of housework, especially laundry as there was bound to be more * acknowledging all the work that Mom was doing, and recognizing it as real work * prioritizing - making sure to leave the day job at home to give Mom a break and spend as much time with the baby as possible * giving Moms massages and treating her in special ways while she is pregnant and learning to be a new Mom Awesome guys!!! And both Jeannie's and my experience with this random x-section of people in our situation truly showed us that it will indeed be the exception and not the rule if we encounter any weirdness as queer moms out there. We were welcomed immediately by everyone, and if anyone really did feel weird about us, they sure did a good job of hiding it. Coincidentally, one couple in the class has the same midwife as us, and made a point to come over and chat. Funnily enough, at our midwife visit the Monday after the class, Clint opened the door to let us know they would be a few minutes more. Another couple, who are planning a home birth, have the same due date as us. One of the components of the course is a class reunion in January, so we can re-unite, meet each other's babies, and connect about our adventures as new parents. This Thursday we have our tour of RCH, and are looking forward to seeing the birthing rooms, getting pre-registered and seeing for ourselves how we can affect our environment for the birth experience, to make it as cozy and comfortable as possible. We are hoping to have a natural birth versus a medical birth (as few interventions as possible), and will be writing a simple birth plan closer to the end of the pregnancy. At the same time that we want to make our wishes and preferences known, we fully recognize that there is only so much we can control, and that trust has to be placed in the process and the caregivers in whose hands we are in. In the meantime, we will be continuing with a new session of prenatal yoga next week, practicing active birthing postures, and continuing to share our hopes for the birth with Lindsay. In other news, baby has been moving around quite a bit and could only be described by Jeannie as feeling like "popcorn" the other morning, when she could feel baby parts pushing and poking in several areas at once. What an active little bean! In family news, Jeannie's mum was released from hospital Friday, coinciding with the date my parents bought a new home in Chilliwack... There is still a lot going on around us, but we are managing to keep ourselves together. Jeannie has now started an online library supervisory course, we are still working on some home renos and acquiring second hand baby furniture (thanks Melanie and others!), and I am on a major roll with my current sewing spree: Lamb towel set: complete. Wall hanging adjustments: to be finished tonight. Jeannie's birthday skirt pattern made from scratch and sewn: completed last night. Current project: those fabulous fuchsia Thai silk pj pants for each of us, hopefully to be finished tonight as well. Sexy! Current Location: Work Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Work Mix

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September 6th, 2006

02:14 pm - Week 25 Due to the need for an appropriate witness to Jeannie's Representation Agreement, last week's meeting with our lawyer had to be rescheduled to yesterday morning. Now that it's over, what a relief! Due to some discomfort about the wording of one end-of-life type scenario, a clause was removed at the last minute, we both signed off, and now feel a lot better. Our lawyer confirmed that we can name our child a combination of our names as we wish on the Registration of Live Birth/birth certificate. Yay! Now on to our wills and more consideration of our special order of "stuff" from California... The baby's kicks are felt by Jeannie (and me when I'm close by) more strongly every day. The other night we were both surprised by how hard that baby can kick - indeed, hard enough to raise eyebrows. Jeannie feels kicks at different times during the day, but most predictably between midnight and 1:30 am. If I happen to be awake, I make myself stay up longer so I can feel the kicking start and try to fall asleep feeling the little erratic thumps I love so much. In family news, my parents sold their house in Kelowna! They had an offer they accepted within a week of it going on the market, and the deal closed yesterday. They plan to visit in the next couple of days to begin looking for places. Very exciting. My Mom and Dad had begun celebrating with a couple of shots of brandy by the time I spoke to them last night. My Mom said she was really looking forward to being a grandma now, and that she is very happy for me. This weekend we are in an all day prenatal crash course on childbirth (supplemented by the copy of Ina May Gaskin's *Guide to Childbirth*, which arrived on our doorstep from amazon.ca yesterday)... I'm excited about the course, but wish it wasn't all in one weekend. The timing could be better, too... we wished it was closer to Jeannie's due date, but also it's tough to visit Jeannie's mum during the week and we like to have more freedom on the weekends to spend time with her. It's going to be a bit nuts with my parents around the next couple of days (and probably on and off in the coming weeks until they find a place)-- and as of an hour ago, an invitation Sunday night to a big dinner hosted by our Director for some grad students our office is sponsoring from Thailand and Cambodia. I feel I should go, but would also like a little time to myself this weekend, if possible... In other baby-related news, I'm excited about hiring Karen to make our baby an original diaper bag using heavy denim and the Michael Miller Rocket Rascals fabric she is using to make a baby blanket for us. Reprodepot sold out of the fabric but as luck would have it, some came on sale for cheap on ebay this week. Karen is going to work with us on a custom design for the bag, and will soon have her website up for her own online business at www.bluebelle.ca. I'm very excited because Karen and I are bartering our services and in exchange for assisting with writing for her website, she has agreed to create customized Christmas cards for us -- and will be doing our birth announcement cards as well. If any of you have seen Karen's talent with illustrations, you will understand why we are so thrilled about her generosity with us! Just to make sure we're all set up for winter, I've joined zip.ca and am enjoying our free trial period. Zip is a Canadian online DVD rental company that has to be an improvement on Roger's and their mixed up discs in DVD cases and incorrect late charges on our account... Season 2 of the L-word is on the way, which is fairly exciting, but all this will be better yet when we don't feel like leaving the house in January and movies of our choise magically arrive on our doorstep... Finally, small plans are beginning to hatch for a *Meet the Baby* party to take place in January in favour of a baby shower, pre-arrival of the little bean. One kind volunteer came forward several weeks ago to assist with any shower-type activity (thanks, Melissa!) and I can't think of anyone more suited to handling the communications end of things. I put in a call to Coquitlam Recreation and was surprised at how affordable a room for 60 people (with kitchen access) is, so the party will probably take place there. I know that 60 people is crazy and overwhelming...but we're thinking of requesting that people arrive within certain time frames so we have about 20 (and no more than 30) people visiting at one time... and hopefully that kind of structure/attempt at control won't be perceived by my family as rude in some way. It's safe to say we're more excited than ever about the baby! Only 15 weeks (or so) left till Tristan or Hannah's arrival! xo Current Mood: enthralled Current Music: Love Letter Boxes - The Posies

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August 30th, 2006

03:36 pm - almost forgot... Perhaps the most interesting thing that will come out of tonight's visit with our lawyer is whether or not we can use a variation on our last names legally on the birth certificate. We're not planning to be too creative, but have been re-considering the surname as we do plan to have other children. Initially I said, "It's Jeannie's child - let's respect the woman who's giving birth and honour her family and bloodline". Some cultures are still matrilineal, which is lovely... some as close as our friends in Quebec, I understand... Additionally, as Jeannie's Dad is no longer with us, I also felt it was important to carry on the name of this branch of the Buchanan tree. Other people, including Jeannie, suggested it might make sense to name the child Ottenbreit. That way, there is a bond with me by name, as Jeannie already has the bond by blood. While that wasn't crucial to me, it is important to us that our children have the same last name, and think of themselves as siblings - rather than offspring of either of us, and named as such. When Jeannie and I have a family get together and both the Buchanan's and Ottenbreit's are invited, we refer to the event as a Buchananbreit get-together. We are thinking of naming our child Buchanan Breit: two words, one name. I was told by the old man who used to run the cute coat of arms store in Gastown that the history of my surname is likely the tale of two families, the Otten's and the Breit's. There was a marriage, the names were merged, and thenceforth the children were named Ottenbreit, by the patronymic tradition. While I'm never sure if I like the sound "Ottenbreit" makes, I always liked the "breit" part because it sounds sunny. And if our child decides to call themselves just "Buchanan" because it's easier or whatever, it won't hurt my feelings. I've decided, though, that if we go this way I'll wait until after the birth for my family to learn of it. Not because I think they'll protest, but because I've given it a lot of thought and I'm finished thinking about it for now. I don't especially want feedback, either positive or negative, until after the birth announcement goes out. It gets tiring to do things differently sometimes, and I'm into conserving energy these days when I can! We entertained ourselves last night before bed as we finished our conversation about the baby's name by writing a practice birth announcement. We don't want to give up any of the given names we've chosen because we love them so much, so it looks like our child will have quite a handle... but then, I have two middle names (plus a confirmation name, which, while not legal, I do consider part of my identity; I like that it's the one name I got to choose for myself). I hope our children don't mind that in addition to the two middle name Ottenbreit tradition, they'll have the added bonus of a double whammy last one... Welcome, Tristan Donald August Buchanan Breit! or... Welcome, Hannah Marie Elise Buchanan Breit! We can't wait to meet you! Current Mood: good

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12:21 pm - Week 24: details, details... Sunday was the start of Week 24 of our pregnancy, and now Jeannie is used to feeling the baby move every day. Sometimes she says it feels like he/she is flopping around, or she'll just feel one semi-dramatic flop. I've noticed this myself when I have my hand on her belly and suddenly there's a thud out of nowhere. Cute :) Tonight we are meeting with our lawyer to sign a Representation Agreement. This is a fancy document that covers Power of Attorney and Living Will type decisions all in one package. We thought it was a good idea to do this at some point in our relationship as it deals with Jeannie or I being able to legally make decisions on behalf of the other should one of us not be able to for any reason - life and death/health decisions, financial and personal ones. Now that the baby is on its way, we felt it important to specify that should Jeannie become incapable of making a decision in labour, or a choice has to be made between her life and the baby's life, that Jeannie's wishes are known and that I can make decisions on her behalf. It isn't light stuff, and it's taken us months to get to the point of making the appointment with our lawyer, discussing everything, and finally signing off. The next big thing we have to do now is our wills. We've tried to arrange all of our finances so both of our names are on everything, which solves problems upfront. But we do need the will to specify the legal guardian of our child - the most important thing, in our minds - and we're happy and confident with our choice. I felt a bit stressed about this, as we have three brothers between us to choose from, lots of close friends, and didn't know what to do. I discussed the issue offhandedly with my mom, and I'm glad I did because her advice that we go with our conscience and choose the person we feel would best raise the child according to our values (rather than necessarily choosing a family member) made it easier. We're very pleased that our baby will grow up having a very special Auntie Pam in his/her life. And the next *next* big thing we have to do is make some decisions about baby no. 2! It may seem premature, as they say, but we are paying to have 2 vials of the stuff stored in Bellingham by the year, and it ain't cheap. Aside from that, we've learned our donor has retired and the vials sitting at the California Cryobank are the only vials available for this donor forever... We've been talking about it, and after experiencing the excitement and joy of accompanying Jeannie on her pregnancy journey, I'm feeling very excited about giving pregnancy a try, perhaps as early as the spring. Which means we may be putting in another order of the stuff at the cryobank so we have back up in the next month or so. I wish we didn't have to do this - it's expensive and risky: it may not be in the stars, however, that I get pregnant the first time like Jeannie. In addition to practical/financial considerations about conception, Jeannie and I both enjoyed having a brother 15 months apart in age. We are hoping that having our children close together will encourage a close relationship, and while being close in age doesn't guarantee that, they will go through developmental stages at roughly the same time, and, like Jeans and Matt & Kevy and me, may turn out to be good friends :) Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Dear Diary - Travis

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August 25th, 2006

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August 24th, 2006

04:17 pm - Week 23 It's been a while since I've updated the journal due to a number of circumstances, including vacation weeks 21 to 22, which also coincided with Jeannie's mum being hospitalized with a fairly serious illness. We spent a lot of time in emergency our first week of vacation, and spent some evenings overnight at Jeannie's mum's (as well as one horrible sleepless night due to the care facility where Jeannie's mum was staying falsely reporting that she had gone missing, but was in fact, sleeping in another room - thanks guys!) -- but also managed to have one lovely night with Auntie Pam and a great midwife visit at Lindsay's home office. All is still well with both Jeannie and baby, we are very happy to report! We are in Week 23 now, which began officially on Sunday, which was also Jeannie's birthday. We spent Thursday to Sunday of last week in hazy, smoky Kelowna, hanging out with family and doing a little baby shopping. Jeannie got to meet one of my favourite cousins, Suzanne (who I call Suzie), and many laughs en*sue*d... On the drive home from Kelowna, I commented more than once how nice it would be if the baby would give its mama a little birthday kick. Jeannie and I have been wondering when she'd really feel the baby move as our books say that a mother normally will feel the baby move between weeks 18 and 22, but no certain flutters had been felt by our heroine. We were both feeling blue on Sunday night... we are both quite prone to the Sunday blues, but were also feeling the end-of-vacation blues, and feeling sad about Jeannie's mum. I was doing something in another room and Jeannie was laying down around 10:00 pm on Sunday when she felt the sensation of the baby moving around for the first time! Our spirits were buoyed by the thoughtful birthday gift from our sweet baby! Then, last night I got to feel the baby move for the first time as Jeannie and I were watching an episode from Season 7 of Buffy, and I was resting with my hand on her belly. Our cute little bean was thumping around erratically for a minute or two. I love the baby! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Beautiful Creature - Juliana Hatfield

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August 4th, 2006

11:47 am - 20 weeks Last night Jeannie and I went to our second (and last) ultrasound appointment. We were both so excited to see our little baby again - the last time before s/he arrives and we get to meet him/her in "person". When we arrived at the MedRay clinic a few minutes early, we had to wait about 10 minutes before it was our turn. We both noticed a tall, bored looking technologist with longish grey hair and a Colonel Mustard moustache who we kept hoping wouldn't be our technologist... neither of us wanted to imagine him touching Jeannie's belly. So we were quite relieved when he came out, picked up a chart and then called in the woman who was sitting next to us in the waiting room. A few minutes later a nice, fresh-faced young technologist called us into a second waiting area where I waited as Jeannie went in for the first part of her visit. The waiting seemed to take forever. I was forced to read the "Khadr Bunch" issue of Time magazine, and after a lame issue of Reader's Digest, there was nothing left but the latest swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated. I started to panic, and not just because of the fold out Budweiser ad where some skinny, busty model was asked to wear a bikini of beer bottle caps. I was sure the technologist told me it would be just a few minutes before I could come in, but it was taking 10, 15, 20 minutes. I started pacing, wondering what could be wrong, and then I started to feel disappointed and a bit angry because obviously the technologist had forgotten all about me and I was missing out on my chance to see our baby. Eventually the technologist returned with a smile and invited me in, and I forgot all about my bad feelings. It turned out there were a number of measurements to be taken this visit, and a doctor had to review the ultrasound photos to make sure Baby B. was fine. And s/he is! When I finally was able to get a peek of our baby in utero, the little jumping bean was moving around like crazy... is this a sign of things to come? What a cute little profile! And hands, and feet! Admittedly, the frontal view of Baby's face is a bit scary, but all baby skulls look like... well, baby skulls. When I saw the little bean move its hand to its mouth to suck its thumb, my heart melted. I saw all four chambers of Baby's little heart beating, it's tiny stomach a small black circle, and the line of its diaphragm... amazing... While we told the technologist we didn't want to know the baby's gender, I must admit that I did kind of try to peek a little during the show... but no definite clues were seen either way. I called my Mom when we got home (and discovered she was a bit tipsy as my aunt and uncle had arrived for a visit). She wanted to know if we knew the sex of the baby, and I told her that all I called to report was that she had a cute little grandchild on the way. And that otherwise, I knew nothing! Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Summertime Climb - Flashing Lights

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July 26th, 2006

11:28 am - 19 weeks and counting... Jeannie is now 19 weeks pregnant. 19 weeks! That's almost five months, half way there... it is hard for both of us to believe. It can be boring to muse on the pace with which time can pass us by... time turns kittens into cats, that's for sure, and these two kittens have been busy as can be. As a result my long list of things to do before December has diminished slightly (tho' I keep adding new items to the list...), and I haven't been updating the livejournal as often as I'd like. However: Our deck is now sparkly with fresh stain, our lovely Sunbeam BBQ and beautiful plants from Gardenworks. We try to eat dinner out there as often as we can. We've finished the tree of life wall hanging for the baby's room, which now only needs our signatures on the back with one of those cute "Made with Love" tags. I'm almost finished sewing a cute maternity top for Jeannie in white linen with a raised floral pattern on it. Jeannie needs new clothes! Her belly seems to grow 5% overnight every night. Tonight we are looking at a used upright freezer that we found on craigslist.com. I'm worried about getting it up the stairs into our place, but at least I can borrow a dolly from our strata. All so I have somewhere to freeze all the lasagnes and other tasty dishes I plan to make in advance so we don't have to worry about food for the first two weeks after our special delivery arrives. Windows and storm doors are set to be installed in the next three weeks, coinciding with our vacation time. We're looking forward to shutting down operations at home for two weeks to accomplish a few more tasks, then visit Kelowna and Saturna Island and do as little as possible. Next fun sewing projects: a lamb hooded towel, bib, wash mit and booties set out of soft white terry cloth for Baby B. And then the fuchsia silk pj sets for Mama and Mommy we've all been waiting for (with silk bought in Thailand last fall). Our next ultrasound appointment is set for August 3rd, and we will try not to notice the baby's gender - no need to spoil Rob McTavish's baby pool plans, and after being so awfully well-planned, we're ready for a late fall/early winter surprise :) We are taking predictions, though... any guesses? Current Location: "Work" Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Mes Reves de Satin

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June 29th, 2006

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June 14th, 2006

01:27 pm - The Adventures of Baby Buchanan The past few weeks began with a desirable lull in activity, followed by an intensity that now has the both of us in need of some recharging on our own. But not without feelings of relief, gratitude and excitement about the way our path towards dual motherhood is unfolding. May 20 to 25 we spent in Kelowna with family. We had a wonderful first evening with my parents discussing the baby and how to share the news with extended family. We talked for hours about it, and were amazed by the maturity of enlightment Mom and Dad had achieved in the past short while. It was heartwarming to hear them tell us how they would like to describe our relationship, and to learn that they finally understood how simple and pure what we are really is. My mom wanted to have an accurate picture of everything we'd been through - the defining moment of our relationship, including dates and background on Jeannie's family...she basically wanted to write a bio, getting everything perfect so that there would be fewer questions for me and Jeannie to field later. It was wonderful, and I couldn't sleep that night because my heart kept racing and my mind kept spinning. Meeting Jenn the next day was great...she works at Purdy's and spoiled us with box after box of chocolates. She fit in to our family immediately and she and Kevin seem so comfortable and happy together, it seemed she had always been around. On the 22nd we stayed in to watch an episode of *Shalom in the Home* Heather had told me about, as the couple seeking counselling were two moms who were concerned about their 12 year old daughter. The poignancy of watching an open discussion about the couple's relationship, and the pain the women expressed in not being accepted by their families (one of their fathers was even a civil rights lawyer, but could not accept that his daughter was gay), was not missed by anyone and my brother kept looking over at me and Jeannie as we wiped the tears from our eyes to make sure we were OK. My parents had apologized to us two nights before for their lack of understanding and the difficulty they've had over the last five years to acknowledge us as a couple. By the end of the show I think we all felt cleansed. The next day was my birthday, which was a day of busy activity. We went out for breakfast at a German bakery with my Aunt Yvonne, cousins Aline and Diane, and Uncle Bert. Afterwards we played some outdoor mini golf, had a snack at a pub and dinner later at a Chinese buffet (the planning was done by my dad, who knows all the good places to eat in town). That evening my mom had planned for a few people to come over... it turned out that my Aunt Yvonne's entire family, minus my often absent cousin Gerard, came by with cards and gifts! We sat in a circle in my parents' living room and shared an evening of laughter and storytelling the likes of which we haven't done in several years (since the death of my cousin Brian in Oct 2003). Aline even offered to read my cards, which I have always wanted her to do. I didn't blow out candles on my chocolate mousse cake to make a birthday wish, but she asked me to make a wish as I drew my cards. My usually restrained mother kept jumping up during the reading to ask silly questions when she thought Aline was getting too close to revealing the fact that there would be a new member of the family coming soon. Aline also read Jeannie's cards after and was more vague with her...we figured she likely did know more than she revealed. And Jeannie made a special wish, too. The rest of our time in Kelowna was relaxing. Jeannie and I picked up our first few items for the baby in greens and yellows (save a fantastic pair of black and silver soft baby shoes that are quite out of this world). And we finished off the chocolates Jenn brought us. There was no time for reading the books we'd brought along, or doing much of anything else. There was something in Jeannie's reading about winning big money so we did go to Bingo one night but none of us won anything, to our dismay. We arrived home on the Thursday night in time to meet with a guy from a local window company for an estimate on replacing our windows with energy-efficient double glazed numbers... holy hannah, $3400! We've since gotten another estimate we can better live with. On the Friday night, we met some of Matthew's friends downtown and dined and cheered him for his 34th birthday, then went salsa dancing at the Law Courts. Since then we've been busy starting things we can't finish, like will planning and figuring out how to write a representation agreement, the windows issue, buying and putting together new dining room furniture, getting rid of books as they take up so much space at our place, getting Baby Buchanan on the wait list at the SFU Daycare, hosting my parents the past 4 days as they landed in town on their Big News rock and roll tour, fighting exhaustion and in my case, a nasty head cold, which caused me to miss a couple of days of work this week. Before I sign off today, my deepest condolences to Jeannie, who lost her grandmother, Sheila, on Monday morning. Jeannie will be leaving for Edmonton tomorrow for two days to attend the funeral, having been given the go-ahead to fly by our midwife. I don't know what else to say, except that I'm glad we were thinking and talking about Sheila Sunday night, and that, as people always say, it's better that she is no longer suffering. She can find peace now, and I believe is still quite near us. xo Current Mood: groggy

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May 19th, 2006

08:32 pm - Some belly photos and a long weekend ahead... Today is my Mom's 64th birthday, and my last day of work before vacation! Tomorrow we are leaving bright and early to spend five days in Kelowna. Kevin and his girlfriend, Jenn, will be joining us Sunday and staying until Wednesday. We're all looking forward to meeting her. Jeannie and I are also looking forward to having my parents to ourselves tomorrow to talk about everything and show them our ultrasound photos. We talked for a bit last night and both my Mom and Dad wanted to talk to Jeannie, to hear how her Mum took the news, and to congratulate her. I think it's going to be a fun week! I have a few photos from last weekend, which were taken at Mel and Nate's wedding reception: Jeannie's belly The Three of Us Have a nice long weekend, everyone! xo Current Mood: energetic Current Music: The Best of Morrissey (a birthday present)

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May 14th, 2006

11:16 am - Happy Mother's Day! And a happy marriage to Mel & Nate, who exchanged vows yesterday afternoon among friends and family, and then congregated to the lovely Shadbolt Centre for the Arts for a festive reception. Never ones to miss an opportunity for future scrapbooks, Jeannie and I managed to get some cute photos of ourselves as well -- including some taken by the hired photographer, Brandi, who was excited to capture the three of us all dressed up for a wedding: me, Jeannie, and her cute belly. ***** Ultra-exciting ultrasound appointment set for Thurday at 6:00 pm! Current Mood: relaxed

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